A young man approaches the check in desk of a major airline in a minor city.
Clerk: Welcome to Flying A Airlines. How may I help you?
Passenger: I have a reservation to fly to LaGuardia Airport in New York. Here's my reservation number.
Clerk looks at the sheet of paper, types into the terminal. Stares at the screen for a few seconds
Clerk: Welcome to Flying A Airlines. How may I help you?
Passenger: I have a reservation to fly to LaGuardia Airport in New York. Here's my reservation number.
Clerk looks at the sheet of paper, types into the terminal. Stares at the screen for a few seconds
Clerk: Alrighty then! Jonathan Johnson.... Were you wanting a meal?
Passenger: Sure.
Clerk: Chicken, beef or vegan?
Passenger: Chicken
Clerk: That'll be an extra $15. Did you want beer, wine or a soft drink?
Passenger: Uh... water.
Clerk: Five dollars. Peanuts?
Passenger: No
Clerk: Carry-on or checking luggage?
Passsenger: Carry-on.
Clerk: (Looking at bags) Okay, over-size fee of twenty dollars. Window or aisle?
Passenger: (starting to get flustered) Uh window...
Clerk: Twenty-five...
Passenger: (Interupting) No! aisle!
Clerk: Thirty dollars...
Passenger: (almost shouting) MIDDLE!!!
Clerk: Please remain calm sir. That'll only be fifteen dollars
Passenger: Wait! Why do I have to pay for my seat?
Clerk: You do want to sit, don't you? Of course you do. Seatbelt?
Passenger: WHAT?
Clerk: It's a safety issue. I really suggest that you take the seatbelt.
Passenger: Well, of course, but...
Clerk: Ten dollars. Do you wish to pre-pay your toilet usage?
Passenger: Excuse me?
Clerk: There's a fifty percent discount if you pre-pay.
Passenger: I have to pay to use the bathroom?
Clerk: Unless you don't think you'll need to use it, but then it is a six hour flight, and you are drinking water...
Passenger: Okay, fine!
Clerk: I recommend the twenty dollar pre-pay.
Passenger: Dear God, is there anything else?
Clerk: No I think we're almost done here. (Typing. A thermal printer spits out several strips of paper) Alrighty then, I have you checked through to LaGuardia Airport, seat 22B... here are your coupons. Be aware that in case of an emergency, oxygen cups will drop down from the overhead, and it does accept Visa, Mastercard or American Express.
Exasperated, the passenger starts dragging his luggage off toward the gate.
Clerk: Oh sir?
Passenger: (Stops, but doesn't turn around) What?
Clerk: I didn't realize that you were wearing shoes? There's an additional.... (ducks as a pair of shoes flies past where his head was just located.)
2nd Clerk: (from neighboring terminal) Nice! Tenth pair this week, isn't it?
This is, of course, a complete work of fiction. We all know that there are no longer people checking you in at any airport, now don't we?
Passenger: Sure.
Clerk: Chicken, beef or vegan?
Passenger: Chicken
Clerk: That'll be an extra $15. Did you want beer, wine or a soft drink?
Passenger: Uh... water.
Clerk: Five dollars. Peanuts?
Passenger: No
Clerk: Carry-on or checking luggage?
Passsenger: Carry-on.
Clerk: (Looking at bags) Okay, over-size fee of twenty dollars. Window or aisle?
Passenger: (starting to get flustered) Uh window...
Clerk: Twenty-five...
Passenger: (Interupting) No! aisle!
Clerk: Thirty dollars...
Passenger: (almost shouting) MIDDLE!!!
Clerk: Please remain calm sir. That'll only be fifteen dollars
Passenger: Wait! Why do I have to pay for my seat?
Clerk: You do want to sit, don't you? Of course you do. Seatbelt?
Passenger: WHAT?
Clerk: It's a safety issue. I really suggest that you take the seatbelt.
Passenger: Well, of course, but...
Clerk: Ten dollars. Do you wish to pre-pay your toilet usage?
Passenger: Excuse me?
Clerk: There's a fifty percent discount if you pre-pay.
Passenger: I have to pay to use the bathroom?
Clerk: Unless you don't think you'll need to use it, but then it is a six hour flight, and you are drinking water...
Passenger: Okay, fine!
Clerk: I recommend the twenty dollar pre-pay.
Passenger: Dear God, is there anything else?
Clerk: No I think we're almost done here. (Typing. A thermal printer spits out several strips of paper) Alrighty then, I have you checked through to LaGuardia Airport, seat 22B... here are your coupons. Be aware that in case of an emergency, oxygen cups will drop down from the overhead, and it does accept Visa, Mastercard or American Express.
Exasperated, the passenger starts dragging his luggage off toward the gate.
Clerk: Oh sir?
Passenger: (Stops, but doesn't turn around) What?
Clerk: I didn't realize that you were wearing shoes? There's an additional.... (ducks as a pair of shoes flies past where his head was just located.)
2nd Clerk: (from neighboring terminal) Nice! Tenth pair this week, isn't it?
This is, of course, a complete work of fiction. We all know that there are no longer people checking you in at any airport, now don't we?
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